[This story appears in the March/April 2021 issue of Boston Spirit magazine. Subscribe for free today.]
Rick Koonce knows about the power of sharing one’s story. Three decades ago, the New York Times interviewed him and his partner about a new trend: openly gay couples adopting children. At the time, it was illegal for gay people to openly serve in the military, and marriage equality was still a fringe cause. Koonce couldn’t even legally adopt his own daughter because his state, Virginia, wouldn’t allow it.
These days, the landscape is more favorable for openly gay cisgender men. But that isn’t the case for all LGBTQ+ people. On a new podcast, “Profiles in LGBTQ+ Courage,” Koonce, who lives with his husband in Hyannis, interviews local PFLAG Cape Cod members, highlighting the stories of the marginalized. He’s spoken with openly trans men and women, their parents and one individual who identifies as nonbinary.
A strong believer in the power of humble inquiry, Koonce says the best way to learn is to ask questions. “My feeling about it is, all stories can be very compelling, and the stories of LGBTQ folks and their families, friends and allies, these are stories that need to be told,” he said.
Koonce first became involved in PFLAG 41 years ago, when he was a student at Georgetown University. Feeling alone and isolated, he found PFLAG meetings to be a rare welcoming space. He’s been involved with the organization ever since, and today is a board member of the Cape Cod chapter.
“It was a source of community for me during a really tough time in my life,” Koonce said. “It was a very different time. People didn’t serve openly in Congress or elsewhere.”
A veteran journalist and author or co-author of seven books, Koonce approached the president of PFLAG Cape Cod, Joe Lima, about starting the podcast. It was his way of giving back, and also an opportunity to pursue his passion.
In his heart, Koonce is an interviewer. His goal is to get LGBTQ+ people, and their parents, to open up. “I want people to be comfortable,” he said. “This is not ‘Meet the Press;’ this is not ‘Face the Nation.’ This is not adversarial journalism.”
Dina Guarino is one of the people whom Koonce has interviewed. Today, Guarino is the proud mother of an openly transgender woman, but it wasn’t always that way. When her daughter came out, she experienced a rollercoaster of emotions. Most of all, she worried nobody would understand.
“I had a boy who was named after my father, and now I don’t,” she said. “That was my struggle.”
It only took a couple of minutes for Guarino to start crying during her first PFLAG meeting. At that point, the mother of a transgender man, Susan Smith, put her arm around her. It showed Guarino she wasn’t alone. By sharing her story, Guarino hopes to touch other parents who may be harboring the same fears she used to.
“People need to know there’s support out there,” she said. “(My daughter) actually said to me, ‘If you have a problem with this mom, I will never do anything.’ I thought, ‘Wow. How could I ever ask you to do that? That’s asking you to be somebody who you’re not. I said, ‘Never. I would never ask you to do that in a million years.’”
Guarino’s daughter, Robyn Keating, told her story for similar reasons. A successful attorney, Keating wants trans people to know their lives aren’t over.
“My biggest thing is, I wanted to show people that trans people could have professional careers,” she said. “Being an attorney, being a professional person, it kind of offers some insight, like, ‘No, this is not the end of the world. Your kid is not going to end up not having any kind of career or job opportunities and being shunned away from things.”
Released bi-monthly and available on all podcast platforms, “Profiles in LGBTQ+ Courage” is accessible to everyone. Even as a gay man, Koonce held several misconceptions about the transgender community before starting his show. In addition to providing visibility, he wants to inform.
“I think I became better educated about the transgender community from talking with transgender persons,” he said. “The notions of power, position, place and privilege; people who are trans, in many cases, they don’t have a voice, they don’t have a network of support. So as a cisgender gay man, it’s wonderful to be able to give the floor and have people tell their stories.”
One story that sticks out in Guarino’s mind is when she went to the mall with Robyn in Arizona, where she owns a second home. Far away from liberal Massachusetts, Robyn was concerned about using the women’s bathroom. So she started walking towards the men’s room, only to have a worker point her in the other direction.
“The little housekeeper lady was like, ‘Honey, your bathroom is right there,’ so she went into the women’s room,” Guarino said. “That made her feel good.”
It’s hard to not feel good after listening to “Profiles in LGBTQ+ Courage.” The podcast spreads joy and comfort one episode at a time.
For more, go to PFLAG Cape Cod and click on Podcasts.
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