[This story appeared in Boston Spirit magazine. Subscribe for free today.]
There is no better state in the country for an LGBT person to age in than Massachusetts.
The infrastructure for aging services, which has been increasingly LGBT friendly and competent for more than a decade, accounts for this widely known fact. Critical elements to this infrastructure include the state’s LGBT Aging Commission—the only one of its kind in the country—and the commitment by the Massachusetts Association of Councils on Aging (MCOA) to make every senior center and council on aging welcoming to LGBT older adults, the leadership from The LGBT Aging Project at Fenway Health and the consistent support from our legislators and The Executive Office of Elder Affairs.
One signature program that started in Massachusetts and is spreading across the country is the Community Meal Program for LGBT older adults, friends and allies. There are currently 21 LGBT friendly community meals in Massachusetts but fewer than a dozen across the rest of the country. LGBT seniors in the Boston area have redefined the gay-circuit party by traveling on different weeks to the various LGBT community meals in and around the city. This opportunity is not shared by LGBT older adults who live outside the city and do not have access to transportation. Thankfully more LGBT community meals are opening across the state in areas like Williamstown, Orleans, Fairhaven and Holyoke.
In 2013 Ron Bourque, a gay man who works on the leadership team at Elder Services of Merrimack Valley, one of the state’s Aging Service Access Points (ASAP), realized that there was absolutely nothing in Merrimack Valley for LGBT older adults. They would have to travel over 25 miles south to Boston for any social engagement or peer support. So Bourque reached out to Merrimac Council on Aging Director Laura Dillingham-Mailman, and the two organizations joined forces to start a group that would support the unique needs and experiences of their local LGBT seniors as they age. They named their group the LGBT Senior Social Gathering and it meets once a month on the third Thursday from 6:30 to 8 p.m. at the Merrimac Senior Center. The goal of this group is to be more than just a nutritious meal by creating a safe, welcoming space for LGBTQ seniors to socialize and discuss important topics relating to their experiences. Bourque also wanted a space to provide information and resources relating to aging and home care services.
Last June the group celebrated its fifth anniversary and Bourque’s vision to be “more than just a meal” has come true. The group has become a lifeline for LGBT older adults in their catchment area of 23 communities in Merrimack Valley. Many of these folks are aging alone without the support of a partner, children or neighbors. Part of this isolation stems from the fact that many LGBT adults in rural areas remain in the closet for safety reasons.
Bruce Malbon is a 75-year-old gay man living in Haverhill who says the LGBT Senior Social Group saved his life. He grew up in a time when it was not safe to be out so he made the decision to stay in the closet. After a lifetime of shame and guilt Malbon spiraled into a deep depression that left him bedridden for two years. He sought out counselling through Fenway Health and his therapist told him it was critical that he connect socially with other LGBT seniors. But the list of social groups for LGBT seniors were all in Boston and the transportation was too difficult. Then his therapist told him about another group called the LGBT Senior Social Gathering in Merrimac.
Malbon decided to give this a try. The minute he walked into the room and met the other LGBT older adults he said he felt a sense of belonging he had never before felt in his life. Since that first time he has made some wonderful friends from this group and his depression lifted. “I was so thankful to Fenway, but I didn’t need therapy any more, this is exactly what I needed.” He never misses a meeting and has even joined another welcoming faith group with two of the lesbians from the Senior Social Group.
As the group enters its sixth year, it has grown to an average of about 25 LGBT seniors each month, ranging from 60 to 85 years of age. Bourque hopes to expand by adding a few social outings to get the group engaged with the larger community. Recently the group went to a local performance by The Boston Gay Men’s Chorus, which was a big success. Bourque is also searching for a sponsor to help cover the food costs, which are roughly $150 a month, so that they can keep this critical program running.
On July 28, 2018 The LGBT Senior Social Gathering program was honored in Chicago with an Aging Achievement Award by the National Association of Area Agencies on Aging (n4a). This award is given out annually to organizations that are developing innovative programming, especially for diverse older populations.
For more information about LGBT Senior Social Connection, contact Ron Bourque at Elder Services of Merrimack Valley, at 978-946-1476 or RBourque@ESMV.org. To get a copy of the full LGBT Community Meals Calendar, please email Bob Linscott at BLinscott@Fenwayhealth.org.
Bob Linscott is assistant director of the LGBT Aging Project at Fenway Health.
