Come as you are, or as you want to be.
That’s the spirit of GAYLA, an annual summer conference of gay men at Maine’s Ferry Beach. “Conference,” though, is a term best applied loosely. What you won’t find: PowerPoint presentations, briefcases, and a persnickety HR department. What you may find: sharing circles, hatboxes (for drag wigs!), and an environment that fosters spiritual and sexual growth.
Intrigued? This year’s 34th GAYLA will happen July 11-18. Sign up at gaylagroup.org, or read on if you require just a bit more convincing.
What Is Gayla?
GAYLA was founded in 1979 at Ferry Beach Conference Center in Saco, Maine as a gay men’s retreat that combines the convenience of an all-inclusive vacation and the charm of a grown-up summer camp with the spirit of gay brotherhood and bonding. It owes to its creation in part, says coordinator Tim Fitzgerald, to the free-spirited sensibility of the ’70s, where it functioned as reprieve from the more hypersexual social outlets available to gay men. “It was a place,” says Fitzgerald, “that invited discussion about authenticity and mindfulness.”
It’s also a lot of fun. Each year about 100 men—old friends and new faces, from every corner of the world—return for the experience: for sunning on the beach and spiking volleyballs, learning new skills in workshops or strutting their stuff in a talent show, noshing at potluck dinners or mingling at tea dance (an old tradition that returns this year, says Fitzgerald).
But what most separates GAYLA from other men’s getaways is its general sensibility that focuses on gay “brotherhood,” and cultivates a community of men who share and care about each other’s life experiences in real, meaningful ways. Shared sexuality becomes a medium to foster spiritual bonds.
Why Is It Important?
“It’s an amazing thing to be in small groups with people who share from the heart—not through the apps on their phone,” says Fitzgerald. The Boston resident started attending GAYLA several years ago. His life was going through some changes, and he was becoming more involved with gay men’s groups—like Living Soulfully—that emphasize “mindfulness.” “I was trying to get involved in things behind the gay bars and clubbing,” says Fitzgerald, echoing plenty of men who tire of the scene for any number of reasons: growing older, becoming wiser, or maybe getting sober. (And in fact, GAYLA is an organization that attracts, embraces, and accommodates those in the recovery community.)
GAYLA also offers a spiritual component that can be very important to gay men who have felt alienated by the dogma of traditional religions, or are still actively working to heal the emotional wounds that accompany coming-out, family trauma, or the quiet pain of marginalization. In fact, each morning begins with a Sunrise Circle, where participants can—if they feel so inclined, of course—practice Eastern-inspired slow movements to align themselves for the day. A daily chapel is available. (Ferry Beach is Unitarian Universalist affiliated, but men come from all faiths—and many from none at all.) There are also daily workshops that focus on any number of activities—from art to sport to massage—but are all anchored in a sense of sharing.
“I’ve had some of the most cathartic personal moments on those porches,” says Fitzgerald. He’s had some of his most liberating too. Come talent show time, you may have a hard time spotting him—but his tall, leggy “alter ego,” Chiklet? She might be dragging herself about for the fun of it.
What Does It Do?
Although GAYLA workshops vary every day, there are certain traditions that have been in place from the earliest years. Some are simple, like the talent show, bonfire, volleyball tournament, and lobster fest. Others are particularly poignant, like the Remembrance Service, held since 1987, when the names of GAYLA brothers who have passed from the AIDS epidemic are read aloud by the seaside. And still others are sensual. GAYLA is also a sex-positive environment that hosts workshops surrounding intimacy and touch, has a clothing-optional dorm, and a small theater and intimacy room for erotic exploration. But the person you’ll become closest to, promises GAYLA, is yourself.
Just The Facts, Ma’am:
The 34th annual GAYLA will be held from July 11-18. To learn more and sign up, visit www.ferrybeach.org/gayla. [x]
