UMass’s Derrick Gordon scores the title of a trailblazing out athlete
Derrick Gordon almost quit basketball. Instead, he made history.
Earlier this year, the 22-year old UMass Minutemen shooting guard came out to his family. Then he came out to his team. And finally, he came out to the world through an ESPN interview that made him the first openly gay athlete in Division I men’s basketball. Hot on the heels of public disclosures from pro stars Jason Collins and Michael Sam, Gordon found himself in the middle of what is seemingly a sea change for out athletes—and he says that the personal reception from his coach, teammates, and family has been uniformly positive. His school is sticking by him, too. In April, when five members of the notorious Westboro Baptist Church protested UMass Amherst’s support for its newly out player, they were greeted by a counter-rally of more than 1,500 students chanting things like, “Say it loud, as a crowd. We are always UMass proud.”
The support has been overwhelming to Gordon, who once considered quitting basketball altogether, rather than continue under the constant strain and stress of living in the locker room closet. Now he’s happier than ever. He has a boyfriend. He’s excited to be a role model for anyone sweating the coming-out process, and he has his eyes fixed on a new goal: becoming the first out college athlete to be drafted by the NBA.
[Spirit] What has been the biggest change in your life since coming out?
[Derrick Gordon] That I’m truly happy and always smiling. I can finally be true to myself. Before I came out I had to sneak around and lie. Now I can be open about who I am. There hasn’t been a day since I came out where I felt miserable. If I’d known it would be like this I would have come out years ago!
[Spirit] Before coming out, you hit serious low points that nearly caused you to quit. Do you remember the moment that made you decide to turn it around?
[DG] It was after our last game of the season. We had lost the NCAA tournament. Everyone was out having fun and I was back in my room by myself, thinking, “Man, I can’t continue to live like this. I have to change something.” It got to the point where I was crying myself to sleep. I was feeling so hopeless. I didn’t know who to go to and it was killing me inside. I thought, “Maybe if I quit playing I won’t have to worry about anyone finding out, or worry about not having friends.” I was ready to give up something that I’d loved for ten years. That’s when I knew I hit rock bottom.
[Spirit] Did the locker room culture make you afraid to come out?
[DG] Definitely. There were always people saying things like, “no homo!” Or “that’s gay.” And that made me think, “There’s no way they’re going to accept this.” But I was wrong. When I came out, my teammates totally supported me. And to be honest, they might still say things, but we’ve talked about it as a group and I’ve told them it honestly doesn’t bother me. They even play around with me: “No homo, Derrick!” And I laugh. Everything’s good. I know it’s joking around, and they know there’s a limit and they can’t overdo it.
[Spirit] You’ve talked to Michael Sam and Jason Collins. As newly out athletes, what advice did they give you?
[DG] The main thing they’ve told me is that I’ve got to stay focused. I can’t let all the outside distractions get me off the track of what I want to accomplish, which is to play in the NBA. Because I’m the first ever to come out in Division I, a lot of people will reach out—wanting this and wanting that—and I can’t get distracted and mess anything up for myself.
[Spirit] As a closeted athlete, was it hard to date? Were you afraid of being outed?
[DG] In Asbury Park, New Jersey there’s a club called Paradise. [Gordon is originally from Elizabeth, New Jersey.] Those were my stomping grounds, my first gay bar. I made a lot of friends there and have a lot of respect for everyone I met, because I told them all that I was in the closet and played basketball and they didn’t say a word.
[Spirit] How do you feel about “outing” athletes and celebrities?
[DG] I’m totally against that. At the end of the day, you’re putting someone else in a position that they don’t want to be in. I don’t understand what would make a person want to do that to someone else. What are you getting out of it? I’m really glad no one ever outed me, and it’s a shame some people have to go through the experience like that. [x]
