Michael Horgan and Edward Balmelli
In the ten years since Massachusetts staked its first-in-the-nation claim, 17 other states (plus the District of Columbia) have legalized same-sex marriage. Some victories came through the legislature, others through the courts, and some via popular vote. But in the fight for equal rights, one common denominator has existed across state lines: an approach that Mike Horgan and Ed Balmelli believe is a result of the Goodridge legacy.
“It put a human face to the issue,” says Mike of the way GLAD approached the case. “It’s easy to hate gay marriage in the abstract. It’s a lot harder to hate Ed and Mike.”
Ed and Mike have loved each other since 1994. In 2000 they received a civil union in Vermont, but soon involved themselves as plaintiffs in the Goodridge case, prompted in part by the sad and horrifying experience of a friend who wasn’t even allowed to authorize a coroner to act when his longtime partner died in their home. Suddenly, a civil union and precautionary paperwork didn’t seem like enough.
“How is there such a thing as a halfway point in equality?” muses Mike. “Back then Massachusetts was further ahead than the rest of the country. So maybe there would be some setbacks. Maybe it would be three steps forward and one step back. But it was time to really go for marriage. Half measures and incremental steps wouldn’t have worked here.”
They didn’t have to. By sharing their story and humanizing their struggles, they helped make history—and offered a template for future approaches. “We were seven couples from all different demographics, telling our stories over and over again,” says Ed. “People got to see gay men and women who were just like their brothers, sisters and neighbors. They didn’t just see us as gay people, they saw us as human beings.”
But the rest of country is still a patchwork of inequality, a reality that the couple has had to confront in the years since. About a year ago, Ed, who works as an information technology professional, saw his job moved to an office in Texas. “My VP asked me if I would consider going to Texas,” says Ed, who declined. “He asked me why, and I said, ‘Because if I went to Texas, I wouldn’t be married anymore.’”
At least now, thanks to the progress that has been made, it was a seamless process to go on Mike’s benefits while he works as a contractor. And one day, the couple knows, equal marriage won’t make a state exceptional: it will be the law of the land. “My niece is in law school, and they were studying the Goodridge case in her constitutional law class,” says Ed proudly.
Though for a couple that made history by sharing a glimpse of their life, sometimes the most telling signs of progress aren’t found in legal case studies, but in small, personal moments. “Eight years ago, a plumber coming to the house would ask, ‘Who’s going to be there?’ I’d say my husband, and wait for a reaction,” says Ed. “Now everyone just says, ‘Oh, what’s his name? How long have you been together?’”
For the record, they’re Ed and Mike. They’ve been together twenty years. And you still can’t help but love them.
